Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce

The effects on a family because of a divorce is far more than what many people can imagine, especially when children are involved. When you decided to get married you saw this person as the perfect match for you.

You made a commitment to each other to stay together for the rest of your lives. It is a fact of life that couples go through hard times in their marriage. But before you make a decision to get a divorce, you owe it to each other to try to save your marriage first and do whatever it takes to give it your best shot.

Most of the couples who end up getting a divorce have tendencies to look at their problems in the past, it is like driving a car trying to go forward but starring at reverse mirror. They relive and bring up all the mistakes their partners have mave in the past, they live in a place of resentment and an unwillingness to forgive.

In order to avoid a divorce a couple must focus on the present and embrace a commitment to move forward. Truly forgiving someone means forgetting about what it is that they have done to hurt you.

Forgiving doesn't mean loosing, being a weaker person or that your feelings did not matter. Forgiving means that you as a person have achieve a higher state of mind.

Forgiving someone means that you are stronger for being able to stand the hurt that they have caused you and that you can allow the natural love that resides in everyone's heart to guide your decisions. Rather then putting all the blame on your spouse, focus on making things right.

If you truly want to avoid divorce and save your marriage you should be realistic about your expectaions on your relationship. When two people first get married, each one comes into the marriage expecting it to be a certain way.

Most of the time expectations are very different and can bring up conflicts later on in the marriage. Ladies, if you are engaged to someone who loves to watch football on a Sunday afternoon but you think that your Sunday afternoon should be filled with shopping, do not expect that once you get married your spouse will suddenly put their foam fingers aside to spend an entire Sunday shopping with you.

While it would be a nice gesture for them to voluntarily go shopping with you instead of watching the big game, do not expect that on a weekly basis. It doesn't matter how much we'll try, we would not be able to change our spouses.

If they were a neat freak before you got married, they are going to be a neat freak throughout your lives together. Learn how to keep realistic expectations of how you would like the marriage to be in order to prevent yourselves from disappointing each other.

Married couples who are able to learn forgiveness and let go of unrealistic expectations can help improve their relationship. It is never too late to patch things up and restore the relationship that you both have devoted your lives to.

Before final decisions are made to go through with a divorce, make a commitment to try to save your marriage -- and make it a happy one.