Marriage Counseling - Managing Affairs
If you have taken note of recently married couples, you would see that they always pay themselves lot's of attention. You would generally see a lot of hugging, touching, holding, smiling and incessant display of attention. Many times, this open show of affection reduces with time. The older couples who are still in love, simply relate more like friends. They would certainly not be seen relating like they were years back.
It is usually really shocking when you find a couple that only some years back were all loving and touchy, now barely stomaching the sight of each other. Did the union change? If not the relationship, did the people themselves change?
When folks come for marriage counseling, you would usually hear stuff like "she is not the same person I married" or "he's changed from the loving man I married" and so on. Is there anyway this can be true?
From my studies, I can say that people actually don't change. You simply didn't get to know the real person. This usually occurs when rather than see what's before you, you see what you choose to see. When you get married, you're forced to face the real thing and not what you think. When reality sets in, you could begin to think you might have made a blunder. You could have made a mistake and you also may not have.
Searching for the perfect person is a classic mistake that people make. No one person can have all the qualities you want in a partner. When you expect perfection, all you can expect is heartaches. If you appreciate that you're imperfect, you won't expect perfection from others.
What do you do when you discover some things about your spouse you don't like? This is a very critical matter. Some folks simply run from this question and choose to go looking for what they presume they have missed. This results in extra marital affairs. One thing that generally happens is that people find themselves wishing they had some of the traits of the old person in the new person.
The first thing you require to build a successful marriage is to accept first that you are not perfect. Being imperfect yourself, you would be better prepared to understand the imperfections in your spouse. It's your decision to be happy with your spouse regardless of the imperfections that would see you through. Your extra marital affair isn't a answer. One thing affairs can do is make your imperfection very clear.
Decide to make up for your partner's imperfections. This is a choice you should make for the success of your marriage. If you feel you can no longer handle the challenge, then go for marriage counseling.
Holding unto your marriage, you would discover after a while that those things would no longer bother you like before. There are people who got divorced many years back who now look back and see their reason for the divorce as minor.
Making your marriage succeed demands that you determine to work at it.
It is usually really shocking when you find a couple that only some years back were all loving and touchy, now barely stomaching the sight of each other. Did the union change? If not the relationship, did the people themselves change?
When folks come for marriage counseling, you would usually hear stuff like "she is not the same person I married" or "he's changed from the loving man I married" and so on. Is there anyway this can be true?
From my studies, I can say that people actually don't change. You simply didn't get to know the real person. This usually occurs when rather than see what's before you, you see what you choose to see. When you get married, you're forced to face the real thing and not what you think. When reality sets in, you could begin to think you might have made a blunder. You could have made a mistake and you also may not have.
Searching for the perfect person is a classic mistake that people make. No one person can have all the qualities you want in a partner. When you expect perfection, all you can expect is heartaches. If you appreciate that you're imperfect, you won't expect perfection from others.
What do you do when you discover some things about your spouse you don't like? This is a very critical matter. Some folks simply run from this question and choose to go looking for what they presume they have missed. This results in extra marital affairs. One thing that generally happens is that people find themselves wishing they had some of the traits of the old person in the new person.
The first thing you require to build a successful marriage is to accept first that you are not perfect. Being imperfect yourself, you would be better prepared to understand the imperfections in your spouse. It's your decision to be happy with your spouse regardless of the imperfections that would see you through. Your extra marital affair isn't a answer. One thing affairs can do is make your imperfection very clear.
Decide to make up for your partner's imperfections. This is a choice you should make for the success of your marriage. If you feel you can no longer handle the challenge, then go for marriage counseling.
Holding unto your marriage, you would discover after a while that those things would no longer bother you like before. There are people who got divorced many years back who now look back and see their reason for the divorce as minor.
Making your marriage succeed demands that you determine to work at it.
About the Author:
There are many things marriage counseling can help you with. One of these is extra marital affairs in your marriage
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